Can This Be Real Or A Lie
by Hisoka-Kurosaki-138
Summary: This story is based on my real life crush with a girl. When Kurosaki Hisoka first started to develop feelings of love for his partner Asato Tsuzuki, he never thought that Tsuzuki would reject him. Now what will Hisoka do?
1. Ghost Of You And Me

Hisoka: is chewing on her pen

Tsuzuki: Aw! You're so cute when you're thinking about things, Hi-chan!

Hisoka: turns around and smiles at Tsuzuki Well, arigato. But I am thinking about yet another story.

Tsuzuki: Really?!? It's been a while since you last wrote one.

Hisoka: I know. My life has been going up and down, so I hardly had anytime to sit down and write a story.

Tsuzuki: What about that story you were going to write based on you and Lisa-chan?

Hisoka: looks at Tsuzuki . . . . Maybe I will pull that out of my pile and start working on it! goes to her pile of unstarted stories and tries to get it out, but the pile falls on top of her Itai!!!

Tsuzuki: OO; Are you okay, Hi-chan?

Hisoka: lifts her hand out from under the pile Got. . . it. . .

Tsuzuki: pulls Hisoka out of the pile

Hisoka: Arigato, Tsu-san. (My nickname for Tsuzuki) cleans the dust from her skirt Can you do the disclaimer for me, please? does the puppy eyes look

Tsuzuki: Awww!!! For you, I'll do anything! clears his throat Hi-chan doesn't own any of the Yami no Matsuei characters including me, but she does own the plotline for this story; since it is based on her real life. Hi-chan does have a stalker from her past, and she is considering marrying her stalker as well; even though Hi-chan is still a lesbian and is still in love with Lisa.

Hisoka: Thank you so much, Tsu-san. Here you go. hands him a cookie

Tsuzuki: Yay! takes the cookie and starts to eat it

Hisoka: It makes me happy to see you act this way, Tsu-san. On with the story!

Tsuzuki: is still eating the cookie Hi-chan recommends listening to 'Ghost Of You And Me' by BBMak (which she also doesn't own) for this chapter. If she gets enough reviews, then maybe Hi-chan will write more chapters to it.

( ) Tsuzuki and my thoughts. Sorry about that!

Can This Be Real Or A Lie?

"Aren't you having fun yet, Soka-chan? You needed to come out of your deep depression after getting your heart broken by Tsuzuki-san." said Minase Hijiri as he was looking at the young blonde Shinigami who was staring out at the dancing crowd that had started to gather on the club's dance floor, and Hisoka had to sigh deeply as he got up from the seat. "Sorry, Hijiri-san. But apparently you are still too young to understand what Tsuzuki's actions did to me." replied Hisoka as he grabbed his jacket from the back of the chair and started to walk out of the noisy club; leaving an confused and worried violinist staring at the Shinigami's back. (Tsuzuki: Aw, poor Soka-chan! Hisoka: I wonder what Hijiri is thinking about, don't you Tsu-san?)

As Hisoka was walking down the street back towards his empty apartment, his emerald eyes had started to fill up with tears as Hisoka's mind once again remembered the last time that he and Tsuzuki had seen each other before the young Shinigami revealed his deep feelings towards the older Shinigami. Even though it had been at least three months since the two had spoken to each other, Hisoka still yearned for Tsuzuki to be there when his nightmares of Muraki disturbed his slumber, and to be able to feel safe and secure in his partner's arms when Hisoka felt like he was weak about himself. (Tsuzuki: Three months?!? That's a long time for anyone! Hisoka: It felt like more after Lisa and I ended our friendship. . .) "Tsuzuki. . . Why didn't you return my feelings? I thought that we were meant to be together as a couple; or at least that's what you told me all those times. . ." whispered Hisoka as he lifted his head up to look at the Tokyo night sky. (Hisoka: Lisa once left me a offline message when I was away in New Orleans; and she said 'don't ever give up, who knows one day we might be together.' Not sure if she actually meant it or not. Tsuzuki: hugs Hi-chan)

Flashback; Hisoka's Apartment (Hisoka: We're acting like that Babbit from 'Kodacha', this one series that I love so much. Babbit: Hello everyone! Tsuzuki: 00)

Hisoka was getting nervous as he tried to calm his nerves while Asato Tsuzuki was sitting on the young Shinigami's couch, and Hisoka had brought out a tray that was filled with two cups of green tea as he sat down next to Tsuzuki. "Are you okay, 'Soka-chan? You seem rather nervous today." replied Tsuzuki as he placed an hand on the young Shinigami's shoulder that caused for Hisoka's heart to skip a few beats as he closed his emerald eyes and mentally prepared himself. " I have a confession to reveal to you, Tsuzuki-san. Ever since the two of us first met in Nagasaki, I have started to develop deep feelings for you. Feelings that first started as friends, but then as we became closer those feelings turned from friendship into a crush." said Hisoka as he reached for one of Tsuzuki's hands and grasped it tighter in his own.

"What are you trying to say, 'Soka-chan? I am not entirely sure of how to decipher your words." replied Tsuzuki as he continued to look at Hisoka without letting go of his partner's hands while Hisoka brought his face closer. "I am trying to say. . . that I love you, Asato Tsuzuki. I have always loved you, but I was so afraid that you wouldn't return the same affections towards me." said Hisoka as he placed his lips onto the older Shinigami's mouth. Tsuzuki's violet eyes widen in surprise and shock as he pushed Hisoka away from him, and the young Shinigami looked at his partner with a sense of confusion in his shaken emerald eyes. "I am sorry, Hisoka-chan. But I am afraid that I don't feel the same way about you; I care for you as a friend." replied Tsuzuki as he got up from the couch and started for the door; leaving Hisoka to sit on the floor in tears.

End Flashback (Hisoka: Babbit, please leave us for now. Babbit: But you called my name and- is cut off by Tsuzuki stuffing him in a bag)

"I care for you as a friend." Those words still haven't left Hisoka's heart even after he and Tsuzuki had ended their friendship over three months, and yet the young Shinigami knew that the violet-eyed Shinigami probably forgot all about Hisoka since that incident had occurred between the two of them. "I am all alone in the world. And I knew it was true when Muraki raped me against my will that night." said Hisoka as he placed the jean coat on the back of the chair while the young Shinigami walked into his bathroom and turned the water on; while Hisoka started to strip his clothes off of his body. As the young Shinigami made his way into the warm water filed tub, his emerald eyes looked at the mirror reflection of the blonde boy; and Hisoka saw that the scars on his left arm hadn't yet healed from the times that he had tried suicide, and Hisoka knew that his healing powers were taking very slow due to the fact that the young Shinigami stopped using the ability since Tsuzuki crushed his heart. 'Not like it really matter that much anymore. In fact, my life is pretty empty after you left me alone, Tsuzuki.' thought Hisoka as he placed a hand on top of the recent fresh suicide cut. (Hisoka: I still have those scars on the same arm.)

While Hisoka was drying his hair with a towel, the phone in the kitchen rang as the young Shinigami picked it up with a free hand. "Moshi, moshi; Kurosaki residence." answered Hisoka as he placed the towel on his head, and he placed an hand on the side of his hip as the blonde Shinigami listened to the other voice on the phone; which turned out to be Hijiri. "I am sorry for the things that I said at the club earlier, Hijiri-san. But at this time I am unable to actually enjoy myself until my heart has fully healed or unless Tsuzuki returns to me." replied Hisoka as he leaned against the sink, not fully understanding why he had just said that Tsuzuki would ever want to return to him. The older Shinigami had made it perfectly clear that Tsuzuki only cared for Hisoka as a friend and nothing more; but yet there was a part of Hisoka's broken heart that still hoped for Tsuzuki to return in his life.

"But what if he doesn't return back to you, Soka-chan? You already told me that he made it clear that Tsuzuki's feelings towards you are only a level of friendship and nothing else. Why is your heart still clinging to a false hope of love?" asked Hijiri as the blonde Shinigami had to sigh while his emerald eyes spotted a picture of him and Tsuzuki that was taken at Hisoka's birthday party just days before the young Shinigami revealed his deep feelings for Tsuzuki, and Hisoka felt that his heart was breaking more as he walked over to the picture and placed it down on the table. "That's a risk I'm willing to take, Hijiri-san. Right now I need to get some sleep for tomorrow because I have to go to work." replied Hisoka as he said his goodbyes to the young violinist and hung up the phone, and before leaving the kitchen Hisoka picked up the photo that he had turned over earlier; his emerald eyes filling up with tears as Hisoka held the frame close to his body. "Tsuzuki. . . I really miss you so much, and yet I know that you don't think of me anymore." cried Hisoka as he slipped down on his knees and allowed for the tears to fall; not even knowing that someone was standing outside of his apartment. (Tsuzuki: Who is standing outside? Could it be Muraki? Hisoka: I am sure that I will reveal it in the next few chapters)

The Next Day

Hisoka walked into the Ministry with a tired face as the empathy Shinigami passed by a concerned Wakaba. "Are you okay, 'Soka-chan? You look like you didn't get much sleep last night." commented the young priestess as Hisoka turned around to face Wakaba while the young empath had to fake a smile in order to hide the pain that was starting to hurt once more in his left arm. "Yea. I am a little tired, because of the fact that I was worried about the cherry blossom tree on my nightstand that Tsuzuki gave to me for my birthday." replied Hisoka as he sighed within his mind when he saw that Wakaba had smiled, and the young Shinigami empath continued walking to the office that he and Tsuzuki had shared since their first case together as partners.

Hisoka: That's about as far as I am going to write so far.

Tsuzuki: Wow! Five pages, and you haven't stopped writing at all since you started.

Hisoka: Well, it's up to you readers to read and review. If I get enough reviews for this story, then I'll start to work on the second chapter. Ja ne for now!


	2. Listen To Your Heart

_**Hisoka: Yay! So far I have only two reviews **_

_**Tsuzuki: Is that a good or bad thing for you?**_

_**Hisoka: I am not sure, Tsu-san.**_

_**Tsuzuki: Remember that Hi-chan doesn't own any of the Yami no Matsuei characters or the song that she recommends. Here's the shout-outs from Hi-chan: **_

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_**Valine - Thank you so much for my first review! I know that it was mean of Tsuzuki to reject Hisoka, but I didn't really mean to make him act that way. Honestly! I still love Tsuzuki/Hisoka as a couple! When I think about writing these kinds of stories in my head, sometimes they don't come out the way when it comes to writing them by hand. And I am not going to reveal who is stalking Hisoka-san until the fourth or fifth chapter.**_

_**LonesomeDreamer - Don't be sad. hugs But then again, don't all stories usually use something from the writer's real life as a plotline? If not, then I must have done something wrong; like I always do. . . I can't really blame Lisa-chan for all of the hurt and pain in my life, but I can say that part of it was due to my depression and my spiritual powers. I don't have empathy like Hisoka does, but some of my friends believe that I do.**_

_**strawberrydevil: Sorry to hear that you are going through the same ordeal that I/Hisoka are going through. hugs But at the same time, I still long for the girl named Lisa (who I nicknamed Tsuzuki) to come back to me. I would love to be able to help you in anyway. Just let me know.**_

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**Off-Topic Rambling #1: **_Ew, I hate when I touch something and it gets on my mouse pad of my school laptop. Well, anyways I am pleased to announce that the arrangements for my school Christmas show are almost at 97 completion. The only thing that I have left to do is my Japanese bonsai arrangement, and IT IS HARD!!!! I have already placed concrete in the container (and might I say that it is HUGE!) to safely secure the Oasis™ block in it, and I have to get all of it done before Tuesday. No idea how I will get it done, but I am praying to God that I won't mess it up. _

**Off-Topic Rambling # 2: **_I am currently finishing up my one-shot Yami no Matsuei fanfic entitled 'How Could This Happen To Me'. The plotline isn't based on anything related to my real life, but I thought that maybe it would do me justice to write a Hisoka/Muraki, Hisoka/Tsuzuki coupling. If that offends anyone, I am sorry. But my inner 'Hisoka' just screamed for me to do it, and I have to follow it or else it will kill me! looks at Tsuzuki_

**Off-Topic Rambling # 3: **_Anyone want to buy a little brother? He's only five years old and he's so cute! Just kidding! My mom would kill me if she found out that I was trying to sell my little brother. But he annoys me when he tries to touch my laptop!!!!_

**Off-Topic Rambling # 4: **_Who lives in Colorado or in Maryland? The reason why I am asking that question is because in three weeks, I am going to find out if I am selected to volunteer in one of those states. And if anyone of my friends lives in those two places, then I would love to see you and get to know you a lot better in reality. _

**Off-Topic Rambling # 5: **_This is not an rambling, but I want to give a shout out to my best YnM friends in the entire world; **Saphira112 **and **Krizia De La Cruz (Not really sure how to spell your penname, Krizia-chan. Please forgive me!)**.These two people have really made my life very special and worth living in this unbearable world, so I wanted to give them credit for being such great friends to me. They both made me music vids to Yami no Matsuei (which I have fallen in love with the series); Krizia used 'I Will Carry You' by Clay Aiken, and Saphira used 'Fairyland' by BlutAngel; and I cherish them both to my heart. (Saphira, I need to know how to get that 'Fairyland' vid from you so that I can watch it anytime on my computer). They both have the unwavering kindness and caring personality of Tsuzuki-san so much; despite the fact that I've given them the nickname of 'Shuichi' from Gravitation. So, I wanted to thank you both, Saphira and Krizia, for being there when I needed true friends; and I will always cherish you both very dearly! gives them both hugsI love you two!!!_

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_**() Tsuzuki and my side notes. Sorry in advance! **_

_**Hisoka's Recommended Listening: **'Listen To Your Heart' by D.H.T_

_Listen To Your Heart_

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_"I have been here before, _

_But when or how I cannot tell" _

_-Hisoka, 'Memory Of The Cursed Moonlit Night'_

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_Hisoka wasn't really sure if he should have even come into work today; mainly because of the fact that his heart was still hurt from Tsuzuki's choice of words after the young empath had revealed his feelings. _

_"Hisoka?" The young empath turned his head around to see that Tsuzuki was standing in the doorway of their shared office, and it took all of Hisoka's will power not to run over and embrace his older partner as Tsuzuki walked into the office. _

_"Tsuzuki. . . I just came in to get some paperwork done in order to wrap up our last case." answered Hisoka as he struggled to keep his tears from spilling onto his cheek. Even thought it was a lie to cover up the never-ending pain that his heart was feeling, Hisoka saw that Tsuzuki didn't say anything to him as the elder Shinigami walked past the empathy Shinigami. _

_"That's a good idea, Soka-chan. And after we are done with that, then maybe the two of us can go out for lunch together." replied Tsuzuki as Hisoka had to sigh deeply while the young boy walked over to his own desk. 'He still only cares for me as a friend; and nothing else. But is it wrong to still believe that one day we might be together?' thought Hisoka as he sat down in the chair and started to write on a piece of paper. (Tsuzuki: Aww, I am still so mean to 'Soka-chan!! Hisoka: It's okay, Tsu-san. In the other chapters, I'll make it all better. Tsuzuki: Promise? Hisoka: Kurosaki promise! )_

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_Tsuzuki had to smile as he took a bite out of his apple pie, and Hisoka couldn't begin to wonder why Tsuzuki had talked him into coming to this little café for lunch. But at the same time Hisoka knew that if it made Tsuzuki happy, then the young empath was willing to do anything for his partner. _

_"Ne, Soka-chan. Is everything okay? You aren't eating much." _

_Hisoka shook his head as he turned to look at Tsuzuki; his amethyst eyes full of concern and worry for his young partner as Hisoka had to smile a little. "Hai. I am fine; just not that much hungry as I thought." replied Hisoka as he took a sip from his green tea. (Hisoka: I haven't even tried that kind of tea; but then again I haven't tried any tea at yet. Tsuzuki: Maybe I would make you some. Hisoka: 0-0 No thanks!) _

_Tsuzuki had to smile a little as he watched his partner take a sip from his tea, and the elder Shinigami knew that it was hard to watch Hisoka in so much pain when Tsuzuki couldn't even realize that his words had hurt the young empath in such a way. Even if Hisoka desired him so much, Tsuzuki wasn't able to truly understand his own feelings towards the young boy just yet; so that was why Tsuzuki had pushed Hisoka away. _

_The sound of a cell phone ringing had broken through the silence, and Hisoka took the object from his jacket pocket to see that Hijiri was calling him. "Moshi, moshi. Yes, I haven't forgotten about tonight's violin concert, Hijiri-san. Um, I don't really have a guest to come with me." replied Hisoka as he saw that Tsuzuki was staring at him with a sense of sadness in his beautiful amethyst eyes, and the young empath suddenly got an idea. _

_"Hold on for a sec, Hijiri-san." said Hisoka as he pressed the 'Hold' button on his phone, and then focused on Tsuzuki. " Hijiri-san has a violin concert that he invited me to come, and I have a extra ticket for a guest. Would you like to come with me, Tsuzuki?" asked Hisoka as he felt a little blush creeping upon his face, and Hisoka could sense that there was a sense of happiness coming from Tsuzuki. "I would love to come with you, Soka-chan. After all, it's been a while since I last saw Hijiri as well." replied Tsuzuki as he gave Hisoka a hug; which caused for Hisoka to blush even more, and the young empath put Hijiri back on the phone. _

_"Never mind about my last comment. I have Tsuzuki coming with me as a guest, so we'll be there around 7 p.m." answered Hisoka as he tried to contain his excitement that started to bubble from the slight touch that Tsuzuki's hug had brought, and Hisoka said his good byes to the young violinist before he hung up the phone. _

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_After Hijiri had hung up the phone, the young violinist had to sigh in concern as he remembered what Hisoka had said about him bringing Tsuzuki with him to the concert. He didn't want for Hisoka to get hurt anymore than the young empath was already by Tsuzuki's actions, and Hijiri felt a sense of jealous start to form in his heart. "I'll make sure that Tsuzuki-san regrets breaking Soka-chan's heart. Tonight will be the night that I tell Soka-chan about how much I love him, and not even Tsuzuki-san or anyone else will be able to stop me." said Hijiri as he walked to his room so that he could get ready for the concert and the life changing confession. _

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**Hisoka: Oh boy! Looks like Hisoka-san still has a lot of stuff to deal with. First, he still has to deal with the pain of getting rejected by Tsuzuki, and now Hisoka is going to be hit with Hijiri's confession of love towards him. What's a young sixteen empathy Shinigami to do? **

**Tsuzuki: It's up to you guys, the readers to find out and review. There's three outcomes for the next chapters: **

**Outcome # 1: Hisoka decides to fall in love with Hijiri; despite the fact that he still desires and loves Tsuzuki with all of his heart. Tsuzuki finds out that Hijiri and Hisoka are together, and tries to get Hisoka back. **

**Outcome # 2: Hisoka rejects Hijiri's confession and decides to try cutting himself once more; only to be stopped by a strange but familiar stalker who has nothing but pain, misery, and pure lust for the young Shinigami. **

**Outcome # 3: Tsuzuki finally realizes that his feelings towards Hisoka are more than just a friend, and he goes to reveal them to his partner; only to find out that Hisoka has been taken captive by an familiar stalker. (Remember the person who was outside of Hisoka's apartment in the first chapter? His name will be revealed in due time). **

**Hisoka: Please vote on which outcome you want me to use for the next chapters, and depending on which one is chosen; then I will decide on which song to feature in that chapter as well. Unless you guys have any song suggestions, I am open to them. Please read and review, or else I will come up with my own outcome for the remainer of the story. Arigato, and ja ne! **

**Hisoka-Kurosaki-138 and Asato Tsuzuki **

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	3. Snow White Queen

_**Hisoka: (is wearing a light lavender skirt and mini top with spaghetti straps) Konnichwa, everyone!**_

_**Tsuzuki: (looks at Hisoka's outfit, and stares at her) Why are you wearing that kind of outfit, Hi-chan? It's the middle of winter!**_

_**Hisoka: Oh, don't be so mean Tsu-san! I like wearing this kind of outfit!**_

_**Tsuzuki: But your mini top. . . And the fact that you're sensitive to the cold. . .**_

_**Hisoka: Huh? (shivers as she puts her arms around herself)**_

_**Tsuzuki: (covers the girl with a blanket) See what I mean? Hi-chan, you don't listen very well. **_

_**Hisoka: So? Come on, you have to do the disclaimer for this chapter. **_

_**Tsuzuki: Okay then. Hi-chan doesn't own any of the characters from Yami no Matsuei or Lucy from Elfen Lied, but she does take ownership of her made up character; which she'll make her appearance in this and other chapters.**_

_**Hisoka: Here's the shout-outs for my loyal reviewers!**_

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_**Valine- **You can admire Hisoka for being able to stand in the same room that Tsuzuki is in? Wow, I didn't think about it until after I read it over and over again. Since you like surprises, I hope that you like how this chapter and the other ones turn out._

_**vampire blade- **Are you really a vampire who carries a blade?!? Just kidding with you. Thank you for the nice comment about Hisoka and Tsuzuki; even thought I still would love to see Hijiri as the young boy's lover. But we all can't get our wishes, can we? And welcome to my crazy little yaoi world! claps her hands A new reviewer for my story! glomps_

_**Embodiment of Misfortune- **Did you change your user name on me? Shame on you! Just kidding! Anyways, thank you for your vote; which really made my day. But I'm still working on the future chapters of this story. It might take me a while; what with school and work. And I might get a new laptop, so I have to save all of my YnM stories onto a CD so that I can keep working on them with my new laptop. And I have to somehow agree with both you and vampire blade; Hijiri and Hisoka don't make a really good couple either. When I first met Hijiri in the second DVD, my first reaction was, "Did Watari clone Hisoka or something?!?" I got hit by my friend for saying that, but Hijiri really scared me when I saw him. And if angst or sad stuff makes you feel better about yourself, then by all means I am making someone happy!!! _

_**kiyoshi kiia- **Another new reviewer! glomps Yay for me! I get a lot of people to read my stories, and I am so relieved that there is someone out there who wants to read my stories. starts to cry as Tsuzuki hands her a tissue I would love to mix up outcomes # 1 and 2; but somehow that wouldn't be so right for other readers and it might confuse them. If you like, I can make a Tsuzuki/Hisoka/Hijiri fic for you. And besides, seeing Muraki might scare my poor 'Soka-chan! In this chapter, Tsuzuki and Hisoka have a huge fight that leads to Hisoka cutting his arms again, and Tsuzuki starts to realize a little bit more about how Hisoka means a lot to him._

_**Sasskitten - **Yet another new reviewer for me to glomp! glomps tightly Okay, now I am done. Thank you for your comment; although I don't like to mix things up because it confuses me to no end. And so far, I am not having a great new start to 2007 due to still trying to get over failed relationships and a destroying friendship with a person on this site that I refuse to give out either her pen name or her name. I don't think that you're **that** old, but I wouldn't trust Muraki with my life or his potions either lol. Didn't you see what Muraki did to Tsubaki-hime on the Queen Camellia? _

_**Crazy YnM LoverxD - **Are you really a crazy YnM lover? If so, then welcome to my world! I am crazy too, but it is so great to be crazy!!!! I love it when you want to see Hisoka and Tsuzuki as a great couple and it will be an honor to make your wish come true! Even though I don't like to mix things up, I'm willing to do it because you and everyone else are asking me for it._

_**219 - **Thanks for your comment. Isn't it fun when Hisoka is the one that is getting arguing over? And Yaoi shouldn't be seen as a sin, only a blessing from the normal life that the world tries to shove in our face. _

_**strawberrydevil - **I thought that you left me. starts to pout a little But I am so glad that you returned to my story. I feel so loved!!!!!! glomps her tightly Are you feeling any better about the break-up? I am still feeling a little bit depressed about Lisa/Tsuzuki, and also I just now feel like I am losing a really good friend to my 'selfish' ways; as she puts it. I don't think that she knows what she's talking about; because I went to help out some people when Katrina hit Biloxi, Mississippi. To be honest, I don't know what was going through my head when I came up with outcome # 1, and I don't want for adorable Hijiri-san to be ignored. Maybe he will have someone to love. . . And suspense is what I love in a story!_

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_**Off-Topic Rambling # 1: **I have the results for the vote of Chapter 3; and the results were very close to say; but the winners are. . . Tsuzuki does a drum roll Outcome #2 and #3!!!!! claps her handsI was keeping tallies for every vote that you guys made, and at the same time I saw that outcomes #2 and #3 were each getting the same amounts of votes. And since everyone was asking me to mix things up, I decided to give it a shot. Although I hate having to put Hisoka-san through another suicide attempt, the reviewers have spoken; and I must grant their wishes. Shame on all of you for wanting to make Hisoka suffer even more pain! lol And in this chapter, I will reveal who the figure was outside of Hisoka's apartment in the first chapter is. shudders at the mere thought_

_**Off-Topic Rambling # 2: **I have started and finished working on a new YnM story entitled 'Hisoka In Love With Two'; and it is based on a mixture of my first two outcomes for this story. I thought that Hijiri and Hisoka should have the spotlight as a couple, and plus it was my dream to see those two in love. Now that is the dream is fulfilled, I must get back to work on this story! I might upload it if anyone wants to read it._

_**Off-Topic Rambling # 3: **For some odd reason, I have lost my will to write stories. . . JUST KIDDING!!!! If you actually took that seriously, I pity you for not having a sense of humor. _

_**Off-Topic Rambling # 4: **This story will also include my very first attempt at a yuri couple. I haven't gotten a chance to make this other type of relationship known; so this will be my first appearance. Hopefully, you all will love Kisara and Lucy, or else I will cry my eyes out and you will have to deal with a very angry Tsuzuki-san!_

_**Off-Topic Rambling # 5: **If you haven't read the third volume of the Yami no Matsuei manga, then I suggest you pick it up because in page fifteen; the cast of Final Fantasy IV makes an appearance on the Queen Camellia. I am surprised that Hisoka and Tsuzuki didn't even see them. I wonder what Cloud and Tifa would think to see two males in love. . . smiles as she thinks of a nasty thought about Tsuzuki and Hisoka Cr-p! Shouldn't let that dream wander around._

_**Off-Topic Rambling # 6: **I got back the reply from the AmeriCorps people that I signed up for, and I am getting sent off to Denver, Colorado on January 30th!!! That's right after my 21st birthday; which falls on the 29th. Yay!! So, if anyone lives in Colorado; look for me. I would love to meet some of my reviewers in person! gives hugs to all of her reviewers Thank you to every last one of you, because your reviews keeps this story alive! And by the way, Tsuzuki is my muse; just in case anyone wanted to know but never got around to ask me the question._

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_**Additional Characters: **Kisara Kurosaki; Hisoka's young fourteen yrs old sister who cares very deeply (NOT LIKE THAT, YOU INCEST PERVS!!!) for her brother; almost to the point that Kisara would do anything to protect Hisoka from harm. She'll make her first appearance in this chapter, along with everyone's favorite sadistic doctor Muraki! (Oops, I gave him away. Oh well!) And Kisara acts just like Tsuzuki, so be warned if you see a connection to the two! I also plan to bring in Watari and Tatsumi as well. Who knows; maybe I'll make them a couple in the story as well! ; Kisara also has a special ability that enables her to sense other people's fears and pain, and that's why Hisoka is so close to his sister; almost to the point that Hisoka can tell her anything._

_**Pairings: **Hisoka x Kisara (Brother/Sister Relationship), Lucy x Kisara (in later chapters), Watari x Tatsumi (in later chapters)_

_**Recommended Listening: **'Snow White Queen' by Evanescence. Their new album, 'The Open Door' is so awesome and I want to get it so badly! My sister and best friend Ashlee (aka Yuki) both have it! I am so jealous at them!! Even though it's called 'Snow White Queen', it reminds me of how Hisoka is thought of as a doll to Muraki, and also how Hisoka can't escape the sadistic doctor due to the curse. I hate Muraki, and he deserves to die for raping poor Hisoka-san!_

_() **Tsuzuki and my side notes. Sorry in advance. **_

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_Snow White Queen_

_'Nobody. . . could hear me. Tsuzuki. . . help me._

_'I'm cruel. I know Tsuzuki will deny it, but I'll say it anyway. Cruel and dishonest._

_Killing Tsubaki. . . was just another way. . . of leaving her.' _

_-Hisoka, Descendants of Darkness manga; Volume 3_

* * *

_Hisoka and Tsuzuki were finishing their lunch when the young empath turned off his phone, and Hisoka had to sigh in defeat as he looked at Tsuzuki; his amethyst eyes sparkling with a sense of happiness while the elder Shinigami went back to eating his apple pie. 'Looks like Tsuzuki and I will be going to Hijiri-san's concert together. But why does it make my heart skip a beat so much?' thought Hisoka as he took another sip of his green tea._ **(Hisoka: Um, 'Soka-san; that is when you love someone so much it causes your heart to do crazy things without your consent. Tsuzuki: Yea, like when I accidentally hug 'Soka-chan when he least expects it. 'gets hit by 'Soka-chan with a book' Hisoka: OO Looks like Hisoka-san heard that comment.) **

_As the two Shinigami made their way back to the Judgment Bureau, Hisoka could hear an young female voice calling his name as the young empath turned around; in which Hisoka soon regretted. "Big brother, there you are! I went to your office so that I could spend time with you, but Tatsumi-san told me that you and Tsuzuki-san went out for lunch." whined Kurosaki Kisara as she flung herself into Hisoka; which caused for both Kurosaki siblings to fall onto the concrete pavement. _

_Hisoka had to gasp for air as Tsuzuki smiled while the amethyst eyed Shinigami looked at the young angel that was tightly hugging her older brother. "Okay, Ki-chan. I think that you need to get off your brother right now; because you're cutting off his air supply." replied Tsuzuki as Kisara saw that Hisoka's face was turning a shade of blue, and the young girl had to gasp as Kisara scrambled to get off her brother. _

_"G-gomen! I just wanted to see you so badly, 'Soka-chan!" apologized Kisara as Hisoka regained his normal color. _

_

* * *

_

_"Are you serious?!? You got an entire week off from work?" shouted Hisoka as the three of them were walking down the hallway of the Summons Department, and Kisara nodded in response as the young girl was skipping nearby the empathic Shinigami; which caused for Tsuzuki to feel a little bit jealous at Kisara's openly display of sibling love towards his young partner. _

_"Yep, and that means that I will be able to spend time with Lucy-chan as well!" chirped Kisara as she grabbed one of Hisoka's arms while the young empath felt a little blush creep upon his face as he looked at his young sister. Ever since the two were growing up, Hisoka had always sensed that Kisara had started to develop a little crush on him, but it turned out that Kisara had fallen madly in love with the young Diclonius who had been Kisara's best friend. Lucy and Hisoka never really got along when it came to Kisara's well-being, and even Lucy had once attempted to murder the older Kurosaki sibling; only to seriously injure Kisara in the process since the young girl had gotten in the way of Lucy's attack._ **(Tsuzuki: My beloved 'Soka-chan getting murdered by a young Lucy?!? Hisoka: That's just my made up idea. Do remember that I only control my own character and my ideas of how Hisoka, Kisara, and Lucy grew up, Tsuzuki-san.)**

_"I still don't think that Lucy is such a good person for a lover, Ki-chan. After all, have you forgotten that she threatened to kill me when we were little kids?" replied Hisoka as Kisara looked into his emerald eyes, and the young girl had to sigh as Kisara closed her dark blue eyes. _

_"I thought that we already went over this, 'Soka-chan. Lucy has changed since we were kids, and she was there for me when our parents abused you when they found out that you had empathy." commented Kisara as she covered her mouth with her hands while Hisoka stopped his walking; his emerald eyes widen as he struggled not to freak out at Kisara's outburst. Tsuzuki saw that his young partner's body had started to shake with fear, and the elder Shinigami placed both of his hands on Hisoka's shoulders as Tsuzuki tried to comfort the fearful boy while Kisara looked with sadness in her shaken dark blue eyes. _

_"I think that I overstayed my welcome. When my brother regains his sanity, please tell him that I am sorry for bringing up our harsh childhood. Until next time, Tsuzuki-san." replied Kisara as she bowed down in front of Tsuzuki. _

* * *

_"Hisoka? Can you hear me?" The young empath could feel that a pair of hands were placed upon his shaken shoulder, and tear-filled emerald orbs struggled to make contact with concerned amethyst orbs as Hisoka struggled to find his voice. _

_"T-T-Tsuzuki. . ." whispered Hisoka as Tsuzuki gently embraced his young partner, while Hisoka felt that his heart had once again skipped a few beats as his cheeks tinted a deep pink at the mere touch of the one person who had broke his heart with his rejection of the young empath's love confession, and Hisoka pushed away from Tsuzuki's body; which caused for the elder Shinigami to frown a little as Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka. _

_"D-Don't touch me, Tsuzuki. I still haven't forgotten about your words regarding my feelings towards you. I can't even stand to be anywhere near you, because even the slightest touch causes my heart to beat for you." stammered Hisoka as he stared angrily at his older partner; not even noticing that Tsuzuki was staring down at the ground while his amethyst eyes started to fill up with tears. _

_"Do you. . . Do you honestly feel that way towards me now, Hisoka?" whispered Tsuzuki as he raised his tear-stained face to look at the young empath; while Hisoka clenched his hands into fists as he shook his head. __"You're such an idiot, Asato Tsuzuki! Don't even bother coming with me to Hijiri-san's concert tonight!" shouted Hisoka as the young empath turned around and ran out of the building; leaving an very hurt and pained Tsuzuki. _

_"Hisoka. . . Am I such an idiot for not returning your feelings towards me? Why can't I realize what I honestly feel towards you?" replied Tsuzuki as he stood in the hallway. _

_"Idiot! I am such an idiot for even thinking about falling in love with Tsuzuki!" cried Hisoka as he ran past the sakura trees blindly; not even seeing where he was going until Hisoka slipped and fell face first in a pile of fallen sakura petals. The young empath didn't even bother to get up from his place on the ground as Hisoka continued to spill out his tears, and Hisoka could hear someone calling out his name from not too far away; but Hisoka didn't answer as the voice got closer to where the empathic Shinigami was still facing on the ground. _

_"Kurosaki-kun, are you okay?" Hisoka slowly got up from where he had fallen on the ground to look up at Tatsumi; which his empathy picked up a feeling of concern and worry for the young empath. "Tatsumi-san. . . Gomen for making such a big ruckus earlier." apologized Hisoka as the elder Secretary smiled a little at the young empathy Shinigami before Hisoka brushed some sakura petals off of his shirt while Tatsumi pushed his glasses up onto his face. "Maybe you should go home and rest, Kurosaki-kun. Lately you haven't been acting like your normal self." replied Tatsumi as Hisoka frowned before the young empath slowly nodded his head and teleported; not knowing that Tsuzuki was watching from behind one of the sakura trees. _

_"Hisoka. . . Seeing you like this is slowly killing me. Why do I have to act this way towards you, and at the same time not even notice the pain that you're in?" replied Tsuzuki as he lowered his head to look at the ground while a sakura petal softly landed on his shoulder. _

* * *

_Evening; Hisoka's Apartment_ **(Hisoka: Time moves really fast when you're in the afterlife, ne Tsuzuki-san? Tsuzuki: Hai, hai! But why did you have to make 'Soka-chan yell at me earlier? Hisoka: Sorry about that, but when I see how you and Hisoka-san still manage to form a friendship; it makes me feel a little jealous. . . )**

_As Hisoka was finishing getting ready for Hijiri's concert, the phone in his bedroom rang as the young empath walked over to the object and picked it up. "Moshi, moshi; Kurosaki residence. Oh, it's you Ki-chan. Yes, I forgive you for your outburst about our childhood." answered Hisoka as he sat down on his bed while Hisoka listened to the hyperactive girl on the other line, and the young empath soon felt a pang of regret for yelling at Tsuzuki earlier that day. _

_'I should call and apologize to him. After all, Tsuzuki was just trying to calm me down after I had begun to feel worthless about my existence.' thought Hisoka as he allowed a ghost of smile to appear on his face, and the young empath quickly apologized to his young sister before the two said their goodbyes; mainly because Hisoka could hear that Lucy was yelling at him from the background, and the young empath dialed his partner's number. _

_"Please pick up, Tsuzuki." pleaded Hisoka as he waited and listened to the ring tone before a familiar bright and cheery voice rang through Hisoka's ears. _

_"Ohayo! Whom may I ask I am speaking to?" answered the elder Shinigami as Hisoka felt a blush creep upon his face while the young Shinigami strained to find his voice. _

_"Tsu-Tsuzuki? It's me, Hisoka." replied Hisoka as he heard a deep sigh from the other line, and already Hisoka felt like he had just lost his one chance at being able to fix the damage that his actions had caused. _

_"Why are you calling me at this hour, 'Soka-chan? Haven't you done enough damage already?" asked Tsuzuki as Hisoka took a deep breath before he chose his next words very careful. "I am sorry for yelling at you earlier today. It wasn't right of me to say those things to you when you are still unsure about your own feelings." replied Hisoka as he clenched the bedsheet tightly in fear as the young empath waited for Tsuzuki to hang up or for his partner to yell at him. _

_"Aww!! You're so adorable when you apologize like that, 'Soka-chan! I forgive you." replied Tsuzuki as Hisoka felt a smile creep upon his face, and the empathy Shinigami suddenly remembered why he had called. "Um, Tsuzuki. . . I would still like it for you to come as my guest for Hijiri-san's concert. That is, if you still want to be around me for the entire evening." asked Hisoka as he heard the elder Shinigami gasp on the other line, and Tsuzuki had to laugh. "Yea, I forgot about that too. I'll be honored to still be your guest." replied Tsuzuki._

* * *

_Hijiri was very happy when he saw that Hisoka was waiting for him backstage, and the young violinist gave the empathy Shinigami a big hug. "It's so nice that you were able to come to my concert, 'Soka-chan. And I see that you also brought Tsuzuki-san as well. . ." replied Hijiri as the two friends looked at one another before Hisoka started to feel a little bit nervous about how Hijiri was acting. _

_"If I knew that bringing Tsuzuki was going to cause problems, then I wouldn't have done it. I am sorry, Hijiri-san." answered Hisoka as the young empath looked at the elder Shinigami, and Hijiri felt a little blush appear on his face as the young violinist looked at Hisoka. _

_'He's so adorable and the fact that 'Soka-chan looks exactly like me. . . I have to tell him tonight about my feelings for him, or else lose the chance forever.' thought Hijiri as the young violinist watched Hisoka and Tsuzuki talk for a minute before the amethyst eyed Shinigami walked away from Hisoka; and Hijiri saw his opportunity to reveal his secret. _

_"Hisoka. . . I need to tell you something very important. Ever since the first time we met, I started to develop some strange feelings for you. I never acted on them because I saw how close you and Tsuzuki-san were at the time, and at one point I became a little bit jealous because I thought that Tsuzuki loved you. But when you told me that you two were just friends, those feelings only grew deeper." said Hijiri as Hisoka stood there; unsure of what the young violinist was trying to say to him. _

_'It sounds like what I told Tsuzuki when I realized that I truly loved him. But Hijiri-san couldn't. . . Unless. . .' thought Hisoka as his emerald eyes scanned Hijiri's identical ones for any signs or clues, but the young empath wasn't truly prepared for the next set of words. _

_"I. . .I. . .I love you, Hisoka. I tried so hard to deny those feelings, but everytime I think about you; my desires grows stronger by the moment." replied Hijiri as he placed his hands on Hisoka's face, and the young empath widen his eyes in shock as Hisoka felt the young violinist's lips on his own._

_"Hijiri-san. . ." Hisoka felt like his entire world had crashed down as he pushed Hijiri away from him, and Hisoka looked at the young violinist before the empathy Shinigami felt tears well up in his eyes. _

_"Hisoka-san. . . Why are you crying?" asked Hijiri as he reached out to touch one of Hisoka's hands; only to be stopped by Hisoka as he tried to wipe away the fallen tears. _

_"I. . .I'm sorry, Hijiri-san. But I can't return those feelings back to you; mainly because my own heart still longs and desires Tsuzuki. I am afraid that if we get together, I won't be able to forgive myself for giving up on Tsuzuki." answered Hisoka as he saw that Hijiri had lowered his head to look at the ground, and Hisoka knew that he had crushed Hijiri's heart just the same way that Tsuzuki had crushed the young empath's heart._ **(Tsuzuki: Poor Hijiri. 'Soka-chan rejected his confession. Hisoka: Yea, but at the same time; this will just add to Hisoka-san's list of guilt.)**

* * *

_After the concert was done, Hisoka and Tsuzuki both said their goodbyes to Hijiri; and Hisoka could pick up that the young violinist was still depressed over the rejection that Hisoka had given. With a reassure smile that Hisoka would call the young violinist and a hug from Tsuzuki, the two Shinigami returned to Meifu as Hisoka clenched the end of his jean jacket. 'Great. Now I have hurt another person due to my crush on Tsuzuki, and this time it was Hijiri-san. When I go home, I have to add another suicide mark on my arm.' thought Hisoka as he pulled his jacket closer around his body. It was the middle of December; and it was at least four weeks left until Christmas arrived._ **(Hisoka: Wonder if they celebrate Christmas in Meifu. Tsuzuki: Yea, we do! Or at least, that's what the other stories that we've read suggest. Hisoka: You're right, Tsuzuki-san. And by the way, the scene when Muraki appears is coming up soon.)**

_"Ne 'Soka-chan, are you cold?" asked Tsuzuki as he saw that Hisoka was trying desperately to warm his small body, and the amethyst eyed Shinigami wrapped his arm around Hisoka as he pulled the young empath close to his own body; causing Hisoka to blush feverishly. _

_"Tsuzuki. . ." whispered Hisoka as the young empath felt slightly hot on his forehead, and Tsuzuki gently grasped Hisoka as his young partner started to fall on the ground. _

_"Hisoka! Hisoka, are you okay?" shouted Tsuzuki as he pressed an hand to feel Hisoka's forehead; only to pull it back as the skin felt very hot to Tsuzuki's concern. _

_"You're burning up badly, 'Soka-chan. I need to carry you back to your apartment so that you can rest." replied Tsuzuki as he gently carried Hisoka in his arms while the young empath struggled weakly to get out of Tsuzuki's grip. _

_"Tsu. . .Tsuzuki, please put me down. I am. . ." Before Hisoka could finish his sentence, darkness surrounded the empathy Shinigami as Hisoka fainted in his partner's arms_

_Hisoka slowly opened up his eyes to see that he was in his bedroom, and that he was also in his bed as well. Hisoka sat up in the bed as he winced in pain because his whole body felt weak, and Hisoka felt a hand being placed on his left shoulder as the young empath turned to look into angelic concerned amethyst eyes. _

_"You should be resting, 'Soka-chan. You have a very high fever, and it's taking its toll on your body as well." replied Tsuzuki as he helped Hisoka laid back on the bed, and Hisoka looked away from Tsuzuki as the young empath struggled to restrain himself from making his suicidal attempts public to his partner. _

_"I am going to get some cold water and a cloth to bring down the fever. You keep resting for now, okay 'Soka-chan?" asked Tsuzuki as he smiled sadly while he walked out of Hisoka's bedroom; not exactly sure if leaving Hisoka by himself was a good idea. For some strange reason, Tsuzuki hadn't been able to completely trust with leaving his young partner by himself since Kisara have made it aware that Muraki was still around. _

_(Flashback; Judgment Bureau)_

_While Tsuzuki was walking down the hallway and trying to find where Hisoka had disappeared to, the elder Shinigami saw that Hisoka's young sister was standing not too far off from where Tsuzuki was walking. _

_"Kisara-chan? I thought that you were heading back to see Lucy-chan already." asked Tsuzuki as the young girl turned around to look at the elder Shinigami, and Tsuzuki could see that the young Kurosaki sibling had fear and worry in her dark blue eyes. _

_"I was on my way until my cell phone rang. The caller turned out to be Lucy; and she told me some terrible news Tsuzuki-san." answered Kisara as she lowered her head so that Tsuzuki couldn't see the tears that had started to form in her eyes, and the young girl felt that Tsuzuki had placed his hands on both of her shoulders. _

_"What is the news, Kisara-chan? If you're about to cry, then it must be terrible news for you and Lucy." replied Tsuzuki as he smiled at Kisara before he saw that the young girl had shaken her head. _

_"It's not about me and Lucy-chan. Tsuzuki-san, Doctor Muraki is still alive and he's coming after my brother. For some strange reason, the doctor found out that my brother has been suffering from a deep depression; and Muraki is planning to use that information as he is going to kidnap 'Soka-chan!" cried Kisara as she flung herself into Tsuzuki's body; not even knowing that Tsuzuki was starting to worry about Hisoka's safety and protection. _

_(End Flashback; Present Time)_

_"Damn Muraki! Because of his deep depression and my hurtful words towards him, Muraki is targeting Hisoka. And it's all my fault!" shouted Tsuzuki as he banged his hand onto the kitchen counter while the elder Shinigami gritted his teeth. Because of the fact that Tsuzuki had rejected Hisoka's feelings towards him and because of the fact that Hisoka had fallen into a deep depression, the young empath's worst enemy has decided to make things worse for Hisoka. Tsuzuki felt like he had broken his promise to Hisoka that he would always protect his young partner from Muraki, and now it felt like Tsuzuki had failed in protecting the one important person in his entire life. _

_"Hisoka. . . I really wanted to keep you safe from Muraki's twisted and sick ways, but now I have truly failed you in that field." whispered Tsuzuki as he fell down on his knees and silently begun to cry. _

* * *

_Hisoka reached for the razor blade that he had placed in the nightstand drawer that was near his bed, and the young empath could feel that tears had started to fall from his closed eyes as Hisoka pulled his hand away to tightly grasp the object in his hand. Since the day that Tsuzuki had rejected the young empath's confession of love, Hisoka had started to slit his wrists over and over in order to release the pain that Hisoka had continued to feel; despite the fact that his sister Kisara was so worried about her brother's health. Hisoka had never even thought about telling Kisara that the empathy Shinigami had begun to attempt suicide, but at the same time Hisoka knew that his sister's ability to sense other people's fears and pain would have exposed her to the extreme pain in his own heart. _

_"I'm so pathetic and worthless to everyone; including to Kisara and Tsuzuki. Maybe it would be better if I did kill myself. . ." trailed off Hisoka as he placed the blade on his wrist while Hisoka closed his eyes so that the young empath wouldn't have to look at the cut on his wrist. _

_"I am so sorry for hurting you, Hijiri-san. And I am so sorry for causing you both pain, Kisara and Tsuzuki; especially to you Tsuzuki. I shouldn't have even fallen in love with you so much, and now I have destroyed any chance of us being together. Please forgive me, Tsuzuki. I really did love you so much with all of my heart and soul." whispered Hisoka as the blade made contact with his skin; only to feel a pair of hands cover his own and Hisoka's empathy picking up sinister and deeply rooted hatred emotions._

_"My beautiful doll. . . I thought that I was the only one who can inflict pain on your angelic skin. And now that I see you wanting to die so badly. . . It makes me desire you even more." Hisoka's emerald eyes widen in pure fear as he looked at the figure that was standing in front of him. and the young empath struggled to break free from the tight grip on his hand. _

_"Tsuzuki! Tsuzuki! Help me!" shouted Hisoka as the figure placed a hand on the young empath's mouth while his emerald eyes looked into pure icy blue eyes, and Hisoka felt that darkness had started to take control before Hisoka fell lifeless in the figure's arms. _

_"Your precious Tsuzuki can't save you now. You belong to me, my beautiful and angelic doll." whispered Muraki as he turned around and started to teleport out of Hisoka's bedroom; leaving an bloodied razor blade on the floor._

* * *

**Hisoka: Aah!!! Hisoka-san has been kidnapped by Muraki-san! And Tsuzuki has slowly begun to realize his true feelings for Hisoka as well!**

**Tsuzuki: Not my precious 'Soka-chan! (punches a nearby wall in anger)**

**Hisoka: (looks sadly at Tsuzuki) As much as it pains me to say it, this is what you guys the reviewers have chosen. And it's my job as a writer to fulfill the wishes and requests of my loyal readers. So, this is where I leave it up to you guys to read and review this chapter. The more reviews I get, the quicker I can get to start working on the fourth chapter of this story. It may take me a while, due to the fact that I am going to have to save all of my other stories and stuff from my school laptop to my new laptop when I leave for my trip to Colorado. A special shout-out to Saphira112; I hope that whatever my decision is concerning our friendship, you will always remember that my friendship towards you was truthful. **

**Tsuzuki: (keeps punching the wall) I'll kill that sick bastard if he even tries to hurt or rape my 'Soka-chan!**

**Hisoka: It's okay, Tsuzuki-san. The reviewers won't let Muraki touch a single part of Hisoka-san**

**Lucy: Yea. Don't forget that they want for you and that brat to be together**

**Tsuzuki: (looks at Lucy) Don't you dare call Hisoka a brat!**

**Lucy: Want to make me? (her vectors appear from behind her)**

**Hisoka: Please you two. Don't fight or cause bloodshed around me, okay? (sighs sadly) Please read and review, or else I shudder to think about what Muraki will do to poor Hisoka-san. . . Ja ne.**

* * *

_**Hisoka-Kurosaki-138 and Asato Tsuzuki **_


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